Wanna Schmooze?

I’m not a terribly social person when it comes to breaking the ice with people. I play with my phone to look disinterested, or stare blankly at my shoes when waiting to pick up children. At the playground, I have a book, a notebook or something with me at all times so that I appear busy. I am busy, mind you, because the voices in my head are incredible company [...]

 

Why Hands are Awesome

I think it was back in fifth grade that I read Jacob, Have I Loved, and was immediately gripped by the attention the author paid to the symbolism and beauty of hands. I can remember reading and stopping to really look at my hands, which were pretty much as they are now, just hands. But, as the book proclaims, hands are never “just hands.” Hands are awesome.
That book began my weird [...]

 

Things I am Not Good at...

Shocking, I know.

 Waiting.
 Yarn.
 Drawing.
 Growing plants.
 NOT KNOWING.
 Sleeping.
 Waking up.
 Being awesome (no, wait, that’s a lie).
 Lying.
 Spelling “lying” after a particularly weird night of sleep that has left my shoulders and neck stabbing me in an internal dance of tireless misery.

I have this insane urge to write today. But, instead, I’ll be at a playground, drowning my sorrows in 7-11 coffee and digesting the events of the last week so I can come back and [...]

 

Memorial Day, Huzzah!

4 out-of-towners, 4 arrival times, 2 airports, one Melia… a grand total of maybe 9 hours of sleep from Friday – Monday morning. Aching abs, a perma-grin on my face and one of the most special weekends I’ve had, ever.
Heh. I totally fucking deserved it, too… plus, I still managed to volunteer, and it was a session all about healthy relationships and teenagers. I bit my lip through most of [...]

 

It Could Be Worse, Right?

First, I must tell everyone that I appreciate their kind words about my recent loss. It was oddly comforting to come back from that really weird trip and have so many virtual hugs. Thanks, y’all.
The trip was a success. 48 hours, half of it in a car with 4 kids and a baby and my insane sister and we all made it there, turbo-napped, funeraled, hung with my kinda-cousin, slept [...]

 

Bulls Scare the Pee Outta Me

Finally, a day out of NoVa!
The kiddos, Freedom and I took the opportunity to flee Stepford on Saturday and head, well, anywhere. It was well past time to get the hell out and have some fun. Out. Away. Gone. Vamoosed.
Did we go to Baltimore and hang out at the Inner Harbor?
No.
Did we go MOTORIN’! with go-karts and eat funnel cakes?
No.
Did we frolic through DC?
Nope.
You see, after about an hour of [...]

 

I Don't Know What My Grandmother Said...

…but it could have been shit.
I love her, don’t get me wrong, but I cringe when she calls.
A. L. O. T.
So, today, I bit the bullet and answered the phone. I may have hesitated, I may have thought of 200 reasons not to push that little button, but out of family obligation, I did it. So, here’s a transcript of the 30:33 phone call.
GM: “Well, you ARE alive!”
Me: Kinda, yeah. [...]