The Angry, Pig-Eating, Piss-deprivation Chamber of Horrors

(Author note: this is about pee.)
As I came back from my weekend retreat, an inner peace surrounded me. It may have been the luck involved in being dropped at the right gate at DFW that stirred such a feeling, or it could have been the soul-reviving weekend itself. I was flying high, ready to get home and resume my life, albeit with a different outlook.
As I boarded the airplane, I [...]