I pulled three tarot cards today: Forgiveness, Isolation and Failure. If read together, using only those keywords, they seem fairly bleak. If we forgive and let go of the energy of feeling “wronged” does that leave us alone… utter failures? Why do we hold grudges, knowing that everyone really does make mistakes or has their own path to follow? Does anger make us happy?

Forgiveness comes in many forms. Sometimes, its time that heals those wounds (oh yes, it can happen), and other times, that forgiveness only comes from a conscious effort to drag the Self from the icky goo that grudges slather upon us. Once in a while, forgiveness comes from closure or from moving on, alone,  and learning how to walk the same path, without missteps.

If we are able to forgive, to move on, where does that leave us? The anger/hurt/betrayal/misery that was filling the hole of that grudge is gone. The grudge no longer has an advocate. It aches a little bit as it closes up, and sometimes, we feel lonely as we look for that partner in disharmony that no longer exists. We look back, trying to find something to hold onto, to fill that void… a void that made us miserable in the first place. We are creatures of habit, after all. In viewing the grudge that is rapidly retreating, we are left *gasp* alone, without the comfort of indignation to cradle us at night.

When we are afraid of being alone , without a partner (or, in this case, a leftover emotion resulting from a failed partnership) we are forced to examine some part of who we are. We get to know ourselves when we are alone, and those personal faults and flaws that we push aside are right back up in our faces, waving signs and singing camp songs. “I’m still here!” they say. Clearly, its better to cling to someone, or the hurt someone has caused, rather than look within to see our own failures. Its the easy road, and it feels “oh so good” to lay in bed with misery, right?

If you cannot be with yourself, then how can you expect anybody else to want to be with you? If you don’t like yourself, if you are failing as your own partner, then you will fail in relationships outside of yourself. There is a pattern, a cycle, a road map that leads to the same place… back to you. No matter how many relationships you are in, how many “wronged” emotions you experience,  it comes back to you – to who you are, what you can give and what you demand to receive.

Forgiveness. Isolation. Failure.

We do not fail when we let go of anger and we are not alone when that anger is gone. We are merely stopping the energy given to a bad relationship or event in order to free up better energy and welcome better times. We are failing at feeding the anger, giving our energy to happiness, which is what we really want anyway.  People come and go throughout our lives, but the one constant is ourselves. Take some time to forgive, to isolate yourself and find out what you are really made of. Become a failure at feeding negative emotions and take yourself on a joy ride that expresses the goodness you really are.

~ Chelsea E.

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